mumblemumble | Watch Thread: Ultimate Note

» Started: June 7, 2023

I'm five minutes into Ultimate Note and I continue to be extremely confused by the timeline of Wu Sanxing's, you know. Life. I was under the impression he spent a big chunk of it listening to thunder, but also HOW OLD IS HE HERE.

Ultimate Note character impressions so far: emo lesbian, hot butch lesbian, corporate lesbian, lesbian who's made Wolf Cut her entire personality. Plus a gay little fella who's just... so smol. Just this wee guy. Big eyes. Please won't somebody PROTECT HIM.

I don't trust the iQIYI subtitles which keep insisting on "Zhang" when the person is clearly saying "Xiaoge", but uh. Xiao Hua was treated like a girl as a kid because he was so pretty? To the point where Wu Xie thought he had "transitioned" when he met him again? This is text?

Yeah okay, this Pan Zi guy is hot.

"This is my life. There's only one way. Since I made my choice, I'll disregard other possibilities. It's pointless. Just like how you're willing to sacrifice everything for Xiaoge."

I have to say, I do appreciate that these tomb raiders brought sensible canteens on their desert trip. The pretty little product placement bottles in Reboot were RIDICULOUS.

Heihua have known each other for like two days and are already flirting like there's no tomorrow. 🥰

I love him, I love them!

Also, the contrast in Heihua content, both in quantity and quality, between Reboot and UN is... quite stark. Xiao Hua already looking at this tall raccoon man like he's confusingly/intriguingly boyfriend-shaped, and Xiazi is just like, yeah I am. 😎

This was. So unnecessary. 🖤🩷

I just got here. It's a lot. Xiaoge has uttered SEVERAL full sentences. (!!!)

The way LYN wets his lips during the "how about a bet" speech, so his bottom lip is all shiny when he says, "loser has to take off his pants." Just stellar work. And then they just kinda look at each other's... pants... for a while. 10/10, super gay, no notes.

Xiazi just pissed on some stone carvings, found a door-opening mechanism hidden in it, dared Xiao Hua to touch it, then did it himself and wiped his fingers on Xiao Hua's hand. Like. That's a thing that just happened.

AND YOU'RE STILL GONNA FUCK THIS MAN, LITTLE FLOWER. JESUS.

Good God. With the song, too. This is episode 8, how much more married can they GET???

he protecc 🥹

Wu Xie was falling into the snake pit in extra slow motion and I was like, this would be a good time for Xiaoge to show up out of nowhere, haha!

Anyway, they're in love.

No but like. What the fuck. Is happening. In this scene.

Just a traumatized slab of marble learning about intricate rituals, etc. etc.

Oh my gosh, Xiao Hua yelling at his uncle with tears in his eyes. Oh no. Baby. Baby boy. 🥺 Why is the silly tomb show giving me feelings!!! The babies are sad, I want the stupid snakes back! 😢

You can already tell that shit's not gonna stay on, like wipe some of the blood away first, come on! But my god, the T E N D E R N E S S of it all. Xiaoge getting to take care of a minor physical wound right after he couldn't comfort Wu Xie through mental anguish. Unbearable!

Inexplicably life-like jade warriors with SNAKES inside their HEADS is the kind of commitment to the bit that I deeply respect. It's just snakes all the way down. Snakes everywhere in this fucking rainforest. I love it.

When I tell you I had to be INFORMED about the Zhang clan fuck fingers trait, and I was IN NO WAY prepared.

Anyway, getting a huge kick out of this nonsense.

😶

/Oh./

I CRY. 😭

I'm fine, this is fine, I'M FINE

I got to the scene where Wu Xie and Pangzi undress Xiaoge without, uh, asking first, and then make fun of the underwear Pangzi... chose... for him, and uh🧍🏻

THE REGENT. 😲 Stab him, Xiaoge, stab him!!!

Also, and I don't say this a lot because we'd get like nothing else done, but Xiao Hua is SO PRETTY, oh my god. I mean, Liu Yuhan is quite handsome, but all that trauma Xiao Hua is holding in makes him GLOW. 🌸✨

HOMOPHOBIC. 😠

Kiss scene.

G R A T U I T O U S

Absolutely mystified as to why this conversation about Wu Erbai had to happen with your mouth inches away from Xiao Hua's mouth, but you do you Heiye!

The business in question was Xiao Hua's pussy, and man, memories were made.

This whole hallucination? in the underwater pavilion? is giving me anxiety because I don't know what's going on and I don't like it, so I keep pausing and doing something else. Not even halfway through ep 23 yet. 😩

I gotta say, making it absolutely *vital* for one of your boys to touch the other one's abs while the third fights off snake-powered jade soldiers for them, all set to the show's ~*friendship*~ theme, is a level of gay nonsense some "actual" BL can only aspire to.

SPEAKING OF GAY NONSENSE. Jesus Christ, this franchise is relentless.

Just absolutely relentless. I know Heihua are above such theatrics and would be SO embarrassed watching this, but I'M LIVING.

There is absolutely no bromantic or platonic explanation for this scene, I'm sorry. (I'm not sorry.) Just stellar work by everyone involved. 🌈

Wu Xie drew a map of the "underwater village" (a bunch of ruins on the bottom of a lake) FROM MEMORY, added roads and alleys, and is now pondering how it can look *exactly* the same as the village they've been staying in. Wu Xie, if I may pick you up on your premise there--

Okay, so Sanshu WAITED for Wu Xie to RETURN to the bald dude, who THEN handed over the thing that sent Wu Xie on a trip that ended with a puzzle to which the answer was THE DOG HAS IT? Can't he just MAIL the fucking piece of paper? WHY IS HE LIKE THIS.

not to be a lesbian but oh my fucking god. oh my god. jesus fuck ing christ. oh my god.

Did not disappoint.

Xiaoge having a foot soak and a little drink is so important actually.

I need help reacting to something.

Giving the four minutes between 26:00 and 30:00 of episode 31 their own thread, because oh my god. The sheer amount of BL they managed to cram into Ultimate Note is BREATHTAKING.

Backtracking a bit, Wu Xie has chiseled a coded token of his love into the sword he's about to give Xiaoge. Look at this little gay muppet with his dangly little feetsies and his happy little smile! How could you not adore him.

Look at his big dopey smile while Xiaoge is inspecting the sword, oh my god. "I'm not good at chiseling, sorry, PLEASE LIKE IT ANYWAY, PLEASE I LIKE YOU SO MUCH."

He likes it. 🥹

I need you to understand that this dopey smile stays plastered on Wu Xie's face the entire time he's watching Xiaoge, right until the moment Pangzi reminds him that he also, you know, exists. And would maybe also like a sword.

Wu Xie then conveniently recalls the evil Regent's words about how they'll be the death of each other if they stay together, blah blah blah, to which there can only be one response, as demonstrated by Xiaoge. (Followed by a full ten seconds of intimate eye contact.)

That dopey smile is GONE. 😞

What follows is an entire MINUTE of a car driving off in slow motion and a gay little montage of Wu Xie and Xiaoge saving each other. I assume the only reason this passed censorship is that they went with a rock music! adventure! track off the OST for this. Probably had to.

Pangzi's idea of providing comfort is a hearty slap on the knee, which as you can see is super effective.

Xiao Hua is trying. For like two seconds, then it's back to business.

Anyway, I'm normal about this show, thanks for coming to my TED Talk. 🤡

him face 🥺

My god, the amount of head Xiazi is about to give in exchange for those 1000 goats. King stuff.

What IS it with this recurring THEME.

By the way, I find it pretty brazen of iQIYI to use this picture for Ultimate Note. Do YOU know for how many episodes the girl in your poster stays alive? Because I DO.

Oh you have GOT to be kidding me.

Tag yourself, I'm the dude behind Xiaoge's left shoulder.

At least they're lampshading this astoundingly gratuitous bit of fanservice in the middle of all the tomb shenanigans.

I cannot tell you how much I love this show. My heart is so full.

I'm sure he also wants to save Pangzi and, you know, whoever. People. People who aren't Xiaoge. HE LOVES XIAOGE SO MUCH!!! 😭

I'm generally unprepared for the last episode, but famously stoic Xiao Hua desperately yelling at Xiazi to come back from the bad place and then finding an excuse to be alone for a while and have An Emotion, all set to the Big Drama music--

IS A LOT!!!

JFC, Wu Xie *immediately* going full on "my boyfriend is dead and it's my fault" BIG LIMPID EYES, and Xiao Hua gently trying to comfort him even though he's worried about his own black-clad immortal, COULD THIS GET ANY GAYER???

Update: It did, in fact, get gayer.

Pan Zi :(((((((((((((((((((((((

Okay what the actual fuck.

me in 12 hours:

I have now watched the 10 minute extra and am done with Ultimate Note! *sad trombone* It was fantastically gay and I enjoyed it very much and will miss these babies. They deserve the world. 🥺

» Ended: July 20, 2023