Random Pingxie nonsense

[mumblemumble]

me:
anyway, big ups to NPSS for creating a marty sue so beautiful, so charismatic, so kind, so unintentionally dangerous, and so committed to his family legacy that every woman wants him and none of them can ever have him

lunarriviera:
him already taken

me:
so incredibly taken
like a piece of cake xiaoge picked up and licked very slowly and then put back on the plate

lunarriviera:
okay that belongs in a fic
wu xie would think that
"i've been slowly licked"
"and then replaced. for a decade"

me:
omg for a DECADE
just a beautiful piece of cake, buttercream slowly melting into sad slush under the unforgiving sun that shines on the potluck of terrors that is wu xie's life

Comments

[lunarriviera]

SAD BUTTERCREAM 😩

[marycrawford]

bwee, I want Pangzi to be the one to come up with this simile in Wu Xie's hearing. Possibly with Wu Xie overhearing as Pangzi explains the facts of life to some woman tombraider dripping knives and danger who was hoping to score...

[mumblemumble]

Haha! "Yeah sorry, I still don't think you understand--" (Pangzi licks the tomato he was about to eat and holds it out to the lady) "Would you still eat this?" (She makes an unimpressed face at him.) "That's Wu Xie. You see, his other best friend had to leave for a while. Actually--" (He takes a hearty bite out of the tomato and presents what's left of it. It's messy.) "Now that's Wu Xie." (It drips a bit.) "You don't want that."

[marycrawford]

Oh no the sad heartless tomato ;_; I love the visual, though. This really makes me want a whole storyline where Pangzi Eplains Things through Food is a regular feature.

[mumblemumble]

He totally would! And I think the dripping tomato is a totally valid representation of Wu Xie's heart during the Bronze Gate years. It works! He can explain Xiaoge next, using a pineapple or something. :-D

[nnozomi]

...while mumble's tomato example below is also delicious, I think Pangzi would go on to say "Now you don't want licked buttercream. What you want is an ultra-rich fruitcake that's been well soaked in rum..." and make eyes at the lady ;)

[marycrawford]

LOL I think you're onto something, he totally would. Also this thread is making me hungry!

[mumblemumble]

OH MY GOD HE WOULD. I can totally see it! It would *not* work, but some ladies just prefer licked buttercream, I GUESS. Their loss.